What would happen if:

I changed my major?
I dropped out of school?
I brought my dog to live in my room?
I just decided to spend the next few days at home?
I lived in a tent for the whole summer?
I never wore pants again?
I decided NOT to be a teacher?
I taught kids?
I was never seen or heard from again?
I hugged a polar bear?
I stopped thinking about I?
I told you I loved you? 

Impossible.

Dilemma:  I have to read all three of these by Tuesday.

Problem 1:  I have the reading comprehension of a math major.

Problem 2:  My ability to stay awake is like that of a toddler on a 2 hour car ride. 

Weapon of Choice: Bent, scratched up, reading glasses and caffeine. 

Plan:  Read one book until I start zoning out or my eyes get gloopy and then BAM!! I switch! And like magic, I'm refreshed and able to read for hours more and before I know it, these books will just be faded notches in my bedpost. 

Wish me luck.

Can you die of sleepy?

Life has been challenging lately. 

(Something a good friend taught me last year: there is no such thing as a bad day, only a challenging one.) 

And when my life is challenging, I turn into a huge complainer and adopt this terrible dementor attitude. I suck the happiness out of the atmosphere.  I’m anti-sunshine.  Ranting and raving and complaining.  It’s how I cope.

However, my current challenges are sensitive.  Meaning ranting, raving, and complaining are not allowed to be processes externally.

So I’m going to emphasize positives: 

My three-hour desk shift today was awesome.  I got to really thouroughly read about the teaching strategies I’ll be implementing with the kindergarteners Friday. 

My mom is nice.

I got an 8 minute nap!

I’m surrounded by the most brilliant, supportive, accommodating, beautiful people on the planet.

At the end of every day, no matter how difficult it is to get through, I always get to go to bed. 

Conundrum

So literally just moments ago, I was in the elevator and a boy popped on.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi."

"Do you like Starbucks?" 

"Um, generally." (I need to work on my over-dependence on the utterance 'um.')

He then proceeds to produce this tasty looking fella out of thin air (an exaggeration, I assure you.)

"Do you want this?"

I note that the cup says Eric.  

"Um, How do I know it's not poisoned?" 

"You trust me."

"I do?"

Well, long story short I took it.  But now, do I dare drink?

Whine Whine Whiiiiiine.

Dear FedEx,

I needed that textbook YESTERDAY.  So here I am, textbookless, about to fail a pop quiz all because you couldn't do one teeny tiny thing for me.  You're just hoarding all this priceless knowledge so you can watch me be a failure and laugh in your little white van . Well Guess what FedEx, I am not going to take it anymore!  No I'm finished with you and this emotional abuse.  When you do finally bring me my textbook, which will have been rendered useless and outdated because I'll be a THOUSAND YEARS OLD BY THEN, I'm just going to chuck it back in your face.  

I HOPE THE JAGGED CORNER POKES YOUR EYE!

Love,
Jordan
(not.)